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Helvetica Standard
' Helvetica Standard' is a random comical short that is self-contained, and generally outside the main story of Nichijou. The only connection to the main story is that Yuria Sekiguchi is always reading this, and other characters are seen reading it too. Its name is derived from the Helvetica font family, specifically the obsolete "Helvetica Std" font. Characters Pino: A cheerful First Class Angel with short blonde hair. She likes Bavarian Cream. Mono Eye: The docile underling of Pino. She is a Second Class angel with long blonde hair and an X shaped eypatch covering her right eye. Arama-San: A 27 year old Office Lady. She says "Arama" and gets her nickname from it, although she tries to not say it as much. Waseda-Chan: A 2nd year student at Megashira High. She has long blonde hair and a challenging spirit. Hasegawa: A part time emplyee who works at Tico Mart for 600 yen an hour. He has short blue hair and respect for the the full time employee. Death: A dimwitted reaper who doesn't know what KY means. He gets his scythe taken by the Tengu Tengu: An extremely impoverished Tengu living in an apartment. Namahage: A Namahage with a kitchen knife. Helvetica Standard 4komas No 00: Room 101 A destitute tengu thanks his new landlady for giving him food, even though he hasn't paid his rent yet. The landlady says that people need to help each other out in times of need, and that he shouldn't hesitate to ask her for something. The tengu then asks for some money. The landlady replies that just because she gave him some slack doesn't mean he can take advantage of her generosity. The tengu apologizes. No 01: Death A reaper asks terrified people what it means when one "can't read the atmosphere." A senior reaper floats down and is asked the same question; he replies, "You". (The reaper couldn't read the atmosphere when asking people and see that they were terrified.) No 02: Escape Route The tengu is running from the reaper, whose scythe he has stolen. The tengu trips over a rock and manages to bounce across a river. He's happy because he thinks he's escaped from the reaper, but is forelorn when the reaper begins to fly across the river. No 03: Combat Instinct Pino is reading the paper and drinking coffee while waiting on her toaster. The pieces of toast not only pop out of the top but are expelled with such force that they slam into the ceiling above. Pino looks up in astonishment, and it is revealed that the toast hit a mouse in the ceiling and knocked it unconscious. No 04: Chi Ra Shi Zu Shi Pino tries to teach a Namahage how to pronounce "Chirashizushi," but it can't. No 05: Jyudo During a judo match, one of the fighters slips on a banana peel and lands hard on his back. No 06: There Are Times When You Forget Something That's Always Been There Even When You're an Adult A possibly possessed man is chasing another chanting, "My glasses, my glasses!", looking for his glasses... which are actually on his head. No 07: Convenience Store The unnamed full-time employee asks the part-time employee Hasegawa what Carl Louis' favorite food is. Hasegawa answers that it must be curry rice. The full-time employee tells Hasegawa that the correct answer is pearl rice. Hasegawa tells her, "So. Cool." Under the title, Employee (Monthly Salary: 160,000 Yen. Type A) and Part-Timer (Hourly Wage: 600 Yen. Type B) are introduced. No 08: Convenience Store *New* Aioi Yuuko visits the the convenience store and asks for an "Unbearable! Super-Hot Chef's Choice Chicken Bar". Hasegawa laughs and tells Yuuko, "Give me a break." Yuuko runs out of the store crying. Under the title, Aioi is introduced (First Year High School. Type A-.) No 09: Procession In front of a large crowd, a magician takes a yen banknote from Pino and turns it into a kamaboco (fish cake). Everyone, including Pino, is incredibly impressed by the magic trick. It then cuts to a depressed Pino at home, staring at her kamaboco; the magician never turned it back into money. No 10: Christmas Present Annual Gift Man (aka Santa Claus) visits an excited young boy on Christmas Eve. Santa cheerfully wishes the boy a Merry Christmas and presents him with a package of melon bread. The boy slaps it out of Santa's hand and begins sobbing as Santa looks at him in shock. No 11: Convenience Store The Namahage visits the convenience store and asks for nagugo. Hasegawa cannot understand him. The full-time employee arrives and laughs, telling Hasegawa that he's obviously asking where the bathroom is. Hasegawa tells her, "She is. Hot!!" The stray Namahage is introduced (Loves chocolate anpan). No 12: Last Run Hakone A runner in a relay race (Nakamura) starts to run before he's given the ribbon by his exhausted teammate (Gotou), and the teammate begins to lose ground. He passes out while still holding the ribbon, and the university is disqualifed. The runners, Nakamura (A man you can rely on depending on the place. Really weak with alcohol and women. Frighteningly good at shougi.) and Gotou (A name reminiscent of a mountain god. Gets noticed by pros. Real good at soccer.) are introduced as fourth year members of the Tokisadame University track and field club and as good friends. No 13: The Rebellion of Guten Burger A young man tries to buy a burger from one of those vending machines that sells hamburgers. He inserts a ¥10,000 bill. The machine spits out a ¥1000 bill, giving the rest of his change in a deluge of ¥100 coins. No 14: Jackpot A man asks a second man to say "pizza" ten times, which he does. The first man then pulls out a visa and asks him what it is. Instead of saying "vizza" or whatever, the second man just says, "Oh my God!!!" the Japanese word for pizza rhymes with the word for visa, if Wiktionary and Google Translate are correct. No 15: Unstoppable Friction A boy wearing a hat is mad at his friend for being late. The hatless boy apologizes and says that he thought he was getting on the bus, but was actually getting on sort of pun;on with the times? instead. The first boy falls on his face in disbelief, but then starts moving, essentially turning that action into a form of transportation. He tells his friend they should get there in this manner. No 16: First Summer A young woman narrates her search for a book that has led her to this library. She pulls out the book she spent so much time and effort to find and slowly opens that book. The insides have been cut out and a handgun placed inside. No 17: Difference in Character A surprised young blonde woman (whose name is revealed in No. 26 to be Waseda-Chan) tells her friend that, somehow, her coffee is not "coffee coffee." Her friend is perplexed, and Waseda-Chan doesn't quite understand it herself. She gives her friend the coffee to try. Her friend takes a sip and is astonished that is indeed not "coffee coffee." No 18: Kaze ~Gust of Wind~ The boy with the hat is mad at his friend for being late again. The hatless boy responds that even he's surprised, as he thought he was getting on the bus (バス basu), but was actually getting on an eggplant (ナス nasu). The boy in the hat blasts off, and tells his friend they should get there in this manner. No 19: Mikumi Waseda-Chan is standing outside the public restrooms in astonishment. The mens' and womens' restrooms only have symbols on their doors, and in between is a door combining both symbols. She cautiously grabs the middle door's handle, but is shocked when she's told, "That's not where you go" by a person of indeterminate gender (very feminine hairstyle with ponytails, tremendous amount of facial stubble). No 20: High Score Yuuko is playing Darumaotoshi in school. She hits a block, which ricochets off a desk and hits Mio in the back of the head. She takes the piece and hurls it at Yuuko, who falls back from the force as the Darumaotoshi finishes following. Yuuko gets 100 points. No 21: You Really Think You Can Open Me in One Go... WHAT?! Kuh... Damn It!!! Ora Ora Ora Ora!!! Waseda-Chan tries to use her thumb to open a screw cap in one go. She manages to do so, the cap comes flying off, and she is triumphant in victory. The screw cap continues spinning in the air and heads back towards Waseda-Chan. It grinds into her forehead, causing a lot of friction pain. Under the title, Waseda-chan is introduced (A schoolgirl loaded with the will to challenge.) as a 2nd-year from Megashira High School. No 22: Shitara Family The Vice Principal's daughter and grandson come to visit him. As his daughter makes lunch, the Vice Principal asks his grandson, Mii-Chan, would like to play. Instead, Mii-chan just keeps asking where the Vice Principal's offical seal is. As his grandson continues to pester him, the Vice Principal thinks to himself that this is worse than reality. No 23: The Speed of Wielding and Slamming A girl in school asks her friend, Yumi, who she likes. When Yumi is hesitant, the girl promises that she won't tell anyone; if she ever does, she'll pay Yumi a million yen. Yumi then whispers in her ear that she likes Takashi-kun. The first girl then gets up and tells the entire class that Yumi likes Takashi-kun. Yumi is dumbstruck. The first girl then slams a bundle of banknotes totalling a million yen on Yumi's desk. Yumi continues to be dumbstruck as she picks up the money. No 24: Tsukanoma no Tawamure (Fleeting Fun) Misato and Sasahara are lost in a field somewhere. Misato blames Sasahara for getting them lost. He says he'll look up their location on his mobile phone, and Misato tells him he sounds like a foreigner and should call it a cell phone. Misato then realizes Sasahara is watching something on his phone and yells at him. When Sasahara asks why she doesn't watch it with him, Misato screams that her phone doesn't have video on it. No 25: Shitara Family The Vice Principal gave his grandson a new baseball glove for his birthday, and now they are playing baseball. The Vice Principal thinks it's cute how happy his grandson is, and tells his grandson that he'll never be able to throw the ball all the way from back there. His grandson then throws a pitch, which is fast and breaks. The Vice Principal catches it and is astounded that he his grandson threw an expert sinker. No 26: Kezouji Park Mai is in the park and throws a generic novelty flying disk for her dog, Oguri, who chases after it. Then she shoots the disk, ala skeet shooting, just before Oguri is about to catch it. Under the title, directions to Kezouji Park are given. No 27: First Enshrinement Waseda-chan and her blue-haired friend are sitting on a crosswalk when Waseda-chan exclaims that they are being enshrined. Her friend asks what she means, and Waseda-chan looks it up in a dictionary before handing it to her. Her friend is shocked, and then states that they are being enshrined. No 28: Room 102 The landlady scolds her tennants, a deadbeat tanuki and a gambler sparrow, for not paying their rent. The sparrow apologizes, but the landlady wants her rent money, not apologies. The tanuki pretends to be asleep, to no avail. The sparrow offers a coin, saying it's not much, but it's all they can pay. No 29: Our Seki-San A soccer player (Goto) tries to take the jersey of another (Seki-san) because his jersey is going to be retired. Seki-san refuses, saying that since he didn't score at all today wearing this jersey, it's not worthy of being retired. Goto says that's not true, and that he became a soccer play because of Seki-san. Goto finally gets it off and we see the real reason Seki-san didn't want to remove his jersy; he has "This is my life!!" written on a shirt underneath, and both are pretty embarrassed by this. Under the title, Seki-san (Veteran forward. Can't tell where the goal is. No. 18) and Goto (Former track and field member made it to the pros by going through trials as a company employee. Has speed and endurance and has grown much as the team's center. No. 6) are introduced. No 30: Sinful Summer- The Weight of a Fist. That Weight Cannot Be Measured. On a hot summer day, Nakanojo chastizes Tanaka for saying how hot it is, again and again. He tells Tanaka that if he says that it's hot one more time, he's going to have to punch him. Tanaka simply switches to another word for "hot", and Nakanojo decides he has no other choice but to hit him. No 31: Spiciness of Curry- When White Becomes Black Takasaki-sensei tells Sakurai-sensei about a spicy curry restaurant he likes, and asks her how spicy she likes her curry. Sakurai-sensei says she likes her curry spiciness to be at "zero." A flustered Takasaki replies, "Me too!" No 32: Farm Road A woman is driving down a country road when she passes someone holding up a sign that says "Round 1". At first confused, she's surprised when she meets a martial artsman in the road, ready to take on her car. No 33: Skilled Technique A young shouji player (Nakamura) grimaces as the judge counts the time. As she reaches 10, it is shown that the elder shouji player (Igarashi) is keeping Nakamura from placing his piece down. Nakamura cries out in dismay as the second judge tells them that time is up. Under the title, Igarashi Ryuuou (Has accumulated a rainbow of techniques) and Nakamura Nanadan (Former track and field. Became an exceptional pro after working in a company) are introduced. No 34: Arama-san Arama-san is buying groceries, and the man at the checkout tells her that he always gets other people to write out receipts because his kanji is so bad. Arama-san writes the receipt in katakana, which the cashier seems to find amusing. The 4koma finishes by saying that Arama-san "just couldn't understand somehow." Under the title, Arama-san is introduced as a 27-year-old office lady who is single: Has a habit of saying "Arama", so that became her nickname, but soon after realizing that she stopped saying arama. Works in a stationery company as an accountant. Root for her everyone! No 35: Desperate Situation A NASA (or similar) engineer finishes a countdown, and then laughs and says, "If I say it like that!" A surprised astronaut in a rocket blasts off. Trivia *Nichijou's logo is written in the Helvetica typeface. *The creator of Nichijou (Arawii Kechii) is the creator of the Helvetica Standard manga. *The track runners from No 12 reappear in later chapters playing the sport their notes state they are good at. Goto reappears in No 29 as a soccer player, and Category:Shorts Category:Stub